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Ma Thoughts: Witcher 3 Wild Hunt

I love RPG’s but I’m also mad lazy and procrastinate even when the thing I’m avoiding is something I generally want to do. So it took me a long-ass time to finally sit down and properly play the Witcher 3: Wild Hunt.

I’m 11 hours deep (in a game that is 100hrs of hours long) and I have to admit, I’m having a blast.


The game initially doesn’t leave that great an impression: yes, it looks great, the world is huge and there is a shit ton of stuff to do but the swimmy weird-ass character movement had me vomiting in my own mouth. It made such a great looking game seem kind of cheap and incomplete.


When you said you spit hot fire I thought you meant a tight 16! You lied to me! 

When you said you spit hot fire I thought you meant a tight 16! You lied to me![/caption]
My first impressions of the combat weren’t great either: the lock on sucks, there are too many fucking buttons, the whole thing seemed kind of assy to me.

But with persistence (and the almighty gamefaqs) I was able to get to grips with the bass-ackwards subtleties of the Witcher 3: Wild Hunt.

The first proper quest to hunt the griffin revealed to me that there was way more to the Witcher 3 then I had expected. As a new player to the series I thought we would be moving much along the lines of Skyrim or Dragon Age but the systems you use to hunt down the griffin, gain the advantage over it and the quest lines that lead up to it, let me know I was in for something special.

Ima wear that griffin ass like snake skin shoes bwoi! 

That said, there is still a bunch of shit that needs sorting out: the lock on is still pure garbage, so if you’re fighting more than one dude, forget about it; the tutorials and tool tips are all over the shop and kind of suck. It took me reading forums and watching videos to figure out how crafting/alchemy/whatever works.

So far all of the armour i’ve picked up looks like straight up dog shit. Oh and the navigation and inventory are straight out of the bowels of beelzebub’s rotted anus. You can tell this is a PC first game in terms of inventory layout because navigating this assy-mess with a controller is just fucking long!

In spite of all of that I am seriously enjoying this game. The story is excellent, the pacing so far has been top notch. I doubt I’ll finish it and that is only based on what dudes tell me in regards to length; I straight up don’t have 100 hrs. I’ll continue along the critical path and hopefully that will pull me to the end. Whatever the outcome I have thoroughly enjoyed my time in with the Witcher 3
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