Funky Fresh NBA 2015/16 Preview Pt 1

As I'm about to write this here blog post I’ve got the Red Hot Chilli Peppers song “Suck My Kiss” playing on loop in my brain sack. Why, I hear no one ask? Well I’ll tell you! NBA 2K15 has stolen all of my free time. Yes I know, I’m late to the party but you know what, I’m also mad cheap and only paid £25 for that shit on preowned, so have a coke and a smile etc etc.

So enough of the trademarked Flim-Flammery and on to the meat and or potatoes of this post; previewing the 2015-2016 NBA season! Now we can’t look into the future without having a brief look into the past and having a quick gander and what transpired last year and how it will impact the next!

The Champ Is Here!

First of all we crowned new NBA champions in the Golden State Warriors (GSW), who won their first title since the 70’s. They didn’t just win it, they walked it like a doawg. They also dispelled one of those oft quoted maxims about elite basketball teams not being “jump shooting” teams. 

Most “jump shooting” teams never had a 9th level shooting-mage by the name of Steph Curry, whose shooting accuracy can only have materialised through constant practice, glasses of milk and blood sacrifices in the name of the dark lord, Prince Setubal (long may he reign…)

Not only that, smarter basketball minds then mine (like 95% of the human population) will tell you it wasn’t just the insane  shooting of Steph, but also the high basketball IQ’s of the majority of their squad, the intelligent defensive rotations, and the emergence of Draymond Green as a defensive pivot that made the Warriors unstoppable.

Winning attitude to go with a winning cum face...

Even though all the stats of the season pointed to a GSW title win, not everyone was convinced and I have to say I am somewhat in that camp.

 

Now I know the analytics will obviously show how good that team is, and I also know they more or less wiped the floor with the tough Western Conference for a whole season, but there are definitely a few “eye test” caveats to consider!

Firstly, of course you have to give it up to GSW for getting the top seed in the west; that is part of the game and it is part of the game for a very good reason; you want to avoid the toughest matchups in the playoffs for as long as possible.

However, I do feel that there may have been a slightly different outcome had Golden State had face either the Spurs or The  Clippers on their march to the finals. You could argue (not very convincingly but imma do it anyway) that   GSW’s only tough post-season matchups were the Houston Rockets and the Cleveland Cavaliers and I would argue that only the Cavs were a truly tough test.

I was too busy making psychic brownies to be a tough test...

Secondly, yes you can only play who is in front of you and GSW were amazing at mirking the utter bejeezus out of any one who dared oppose them, but I can’t help thinking how different things could have turned out if Durant had been healthy this season and OKC had made the playoffs?

In addition to this, considering how well the Cavs managed to play with Lebron and his shiny boot band of jobbers, imagine if they had the dual scoring threat of Lebron and Kyrie as well as the rebounding and shooting ability of Kevin Love instead of JR Smith jacking up threes like the backboard was insulting his honour and Matthew (the real MVP) Dellavadova being a failed simulacrum of an NBA player.

Not saying Golden State didn’t deserve it, and if you watch their progression over the last 3 years it almost seems inevitable. I am saying that I do not think there will be a repeat this year and I’ll tell you why right after I finish eating this chocolate snack bar.. mmm.. yeah, eating and typing, the last human taboo..

The King is Dead, Long Live The King!

So after all of don’t get it twisted, I LOVE the Golden State Warriors and think they are a fantastic team, but there are a few teams I think have a chance to really make a difference this season.

Cleveland Cavaliers

1. Number one with a bullet has to be the Cleveland Cavaliers. Lebron James is a freak of nature and managed, with little help, to claw two games out of a historically good Golden State team.

Coordination on the triple fist-bump will need work to secure an NBA trophy

As mentioned earlier, assuming Kyrie can come back from his Ankle injury and go off for 50 points at a whim and Love’s shoulder is healed, I have no doubt that this team has what it takes to bring the Larry O’Brien trophy to Ohio.

San Antonio Spurs

2. The San Antonio Spurs are a little bit of an enigma team due to a couple issues lurking at the end of the dinner table, like a racist uncle or meth-addicted third cousin, ignoring them just won’t make them of away! 

Their title claims seem to rest on three factors.

Zing!

UNO: First, we have father time breathing his hot-ass breath down Timmy, Ginobli and Parker’s necks because them dudes is old! Can they still perform night in, night out over 82 regular season games and then the playoffs?

One thing in their favour is Popovich’s minute management and rest schedule, but father time cares not for your rest! He will claim what is his! Your youth is his FEALTY!!!!

DOS: Secondly, can Lamarcus Aldridge take over the franchise from Duncan? At 30 years old, this isn’t another David Robinson to Timmy D passing the torch situation, 30 is a couple years before you typically start to decline (unless you’re Tim Duncan...).

So the question is, can he come in and do what the Big Fundamental has being doing for years; anchor the defence, crash those boards, hit those mid range jumpers and bang it down low with that technically sound post game?

Looking at last seasons stats, Lamarcus averaged a slightly higher 11.2 rebounds per game to Duncan’s 11.1 but the real difference is in scoring, with Lamarcus averaging 23.4 points per game against Duncan’s 13.9. All of this with a talented but dysfunctional Trailblazers team. 

Will LA gel with the Spurs System, sharing the ball, tireless defence, passing up good shots for great ones, which could see his scoring numbers fall? If he can inject that (relative) youth into the team then maybe, but it is a big question mark.

TRES: Thirdly, Kawhi Leonard… Dude takeover already. This guy has everything you need to be an elite player. He locked down Lebron in the Finals and not Iguodala style lockdown where dude still goes off for 32 points.

What did the five fingers say to the face? "Ring Ring ****** it's shut down!"

No! Ring Ring ***** It’s shut down. He has the atheleticism, the shot, the defence…everything. He just needs to step up and take what is rightfully his. If he does, the Sprus are definitely up there,.

Los Angeles Clippers

3. You could write a book about the Los Angeles Clippers. This team is infuriatingly close and sadly so far away from glory too often. Generally it has been a lot of big time Charlie-ing that has let this team down in the past. They often seem to follow up epic performances, like the heroic Game 7 win over the spurs in the playoffs with boneheaded Arsenal FC level collapses, like dropping a 2 game lead to a woeful rockets team.

Oh! Hold on to a lead. I thought you said throw it away! Zuurrp!!

However, this year could be different. They finally have a bench! You could say that their starting five of DJ, CP3, Blake, JJ Reddick and Matt Barnes was good enough to match any team in the NBA but outside of Jamal Crawford, the bench was utterly woeful. But they have seriously upped the ante with their reinforcements. Trading out Matt Barnes for an aging Paul Pierce, is a risky move that has a high potential upside. What you lose in pure arseholishness and defensive tenacity you make up for in genuine championship experience and clutch shot making! Lets not forget he is reuniting with the coach that brought him a ring in 2009, so Doc Rivers already knows he can trust the Truth.

 

They’ve also added Lance Stephenson who I think seriously upgrades their bench but only if he can get over the hump he developed with the Hornets. Josh Smith, who did well for the Rockets also joins at forward, at 6ft 9in, he should be able to help protect the paint defensively when DJ is not on the court and is a welcome improvement over the lovable but fairly low in production and completely immobile Glen “Big Baby” Davis.

Lance Stephenson... Nuff said

Other monumentally key factors are that the Big 3 are still intact. Blake, CP3 and DJ are still together. Doc was not about to let DJ walk away to Dallas this offseason and by all accounts broke all sorts of decency rules to keep him.

Although analytics will tell you different, the numbers can’t show the pure demoralisation an opponent feels watching the most athletic big man in the game swat down, with absolute ease, shot after shot after shot.

CP3 is going to keep being CP3, competitive, tough, a bit of an arsehole but the biggest factor in my eyes is Blake Griffin. These three form a gestalt but I think Blake forms the most key component.

This could be his year, and I am going to make a bold-ass prediction… Blake will be regular season MVP in the 2015/16 season. Yes you heard me!

 

He has come on leaps and bounds every year, from athletic dunksmith, to solid low post player with an array of moves and now a reliable mid-range shooter. He is freakishly strong, is 6ft 8in and like 250 of pure muscle, and as some have noted he isn’t purely a Power Forward he is more of a Point Forward and can run an offence in absence of CP3. If he and the rest of the Clippers can stop throwing hissy-fits and baby-like tantrums when things aren’t going their way, they could be serious contenders.

Things to look forward to

This has gone on for far too long so lets speed this up!

Anthony Davis: He now has the coach (Alvin Gentry) and finally we are going to see the insanely-big man with point guard skills unleash on the NBA. He is your next phenom and it is incredibly exciting to see a new mega-force finally reach his potential.

Chicago: Now Thibs has been giving his marching orders after squeezing all the juice from a hard working Chicago team we now get to see who really was the talent behind the team? New coach and former Bull, Fred “Zoidberg” Holberg fresh from a stint at Iowa State now has the reigns and we finally get to see if a slightly less intense schedule, better minute management and more chances for Doug McDermott and Tony Snell make a difference. Or has that formidable defence walked out the door with Thibs?

Lets get into a 2-3 Zone woopwoopwoopwoop

Rookies, Rookies everywhere!: There was a lot of hype with the last two drafts and I for one want to see if any of them push on. Last year was a little bit of a disappointment with only Andrew Wiggins even giving us a glimpse of being worth the hype. Julius Randle fucked himself up within minutes, Joel Embiid is a myth and Jabari Parker did aight, but I wanted end level shit and got mid-level Abobo mini-boss instead.

This year we have Karl Anthony Towns, Jahlil Okafor, who must have offended the gods of basketball to end up in the anus of hoops that is Sam Hinkie’s 76ers, D’Angelo Russel and Emmanual Mudiay. I’m hoping to see a break out year from at least one of these dudes!

Next post we’ll go more in depth on the this year and last year’s rookies. We’ll also preview the old powers and see what is happening with the Lakers, Celtics, Knicks and 76ers and see what moves they are making to get back on top.

PEACE!